Dana’s Big Gardening Adventure: an obituary

I am sad. I’ve been sad for two weeks since I went outside to check my garden and discovered that vermin (likely raccoons) had knocked down my corn and ate unsightly gouges into every cob.

The picture above was taken just days before the massacre and, as you can see, the ears were forming nicely. Visions of melted butter were dancing in my head. Times were good.

Sigh. The corn part of my big gardening adventure was a partnership between my son Oliver and I; so the loss is doubly felt at our house. That said, we’ve picked ourselves up and visited a farm stand to purchase corn. It was very good and our bellies, none the wiser, think they’ve had our homegrown kernels. It’s a subterfuge, I know. But I’m just not strong enough to break the news to my digestive system yet. Perhaps, in time, I’ll heal.

What we learned: it isn’t thumbs that separate us from other members of the animal kingdom, it’s the ability to eat corn in an orderly, sequential linear fashion that makes the difference. I’m sure of it!


12 Responses to Dana’s Big Gardening Adventure: an obituary

  1. Lisa says:

    Ah, corn and racoons. Don’t feel bad, you are not alone my friend. One morning when I was about 9 or 10 my parents were shocked out of bed and ran frantically to the door. I was out in the garden screaming, shrieking and wailing because the corn I had grown with my special Barbie garden had been pillaged by racoons. I had gone out that morning to harvest the fruits of my pink labors. I still carry the scars. 😉 Damn critters. Next year perhaps?

  2. danamccauley says:

    ….wait a second here. Did you say ‘Barbie garden”? Please do tell us more about this one. Enquiring gardeners need to know!

    Oh yeah, and thanks for the consolation!

  3. Candace says:

    …. A moment of silence…

    Can I tell you how impressed I am that you can grow corn? 😛 I found some gorgeous corn the other day from the farmers market, and tears sprung to my eyes when I took my first bite. So I understand your pain of loss…..

  4. Ouch. I’m so sorry your summer of anticipation and labour got destroyed by vermin. Kind of like finding coal in your Christmas stocking?

    Hope you can find an effective rodent deterrent for next year.

  5. danamccauley says:

    thanks for you kind words, friends!

    I doubt I’ll grow corn next year. It’s a lot of work for not much yield and the vermin will just be back. I could put up a scarecrow but the racoons don’t even run when I meet them face to face as a hooting, arm waving woman so I can’t see it working out.

  6. Cheryl says:

    There’s nothing better than fresh summer corn, and so long as you and Oliver get to enjoy it together, butter dripping down your chins in unison, I’d say you’re both winners.

    That said, if you see those vermin, wack them with a tomato stake.

  7. giz says:

    Nice for the racoons that they had such a great feast – not so nice for you that they had such a great feast and didn’t even invite you. It amazes me that these creatures are so protected in our neck of the woods and they do such an incredible amount of damage wherever they go.

  8. budong says:

    i like the info
    keep the nice blog
    also the food stuff

  9. Tea says:

    Your poor corn. My fledgling garden fell prey to slugs early this summer while I was out of town. It’s a heart breaker, for sure.

    Thanks for your comment–I have my own locavore “sins” as well:-)

  10. danamccauley says:

    Oh the tyranny of slugs with a mission! Sorry about your garden Tea. Hope you’ll drop by again soon.

  11. Becky says:

    Sorry to hear about your corn. Mine isn’t doing too well either. It is small – about 4 feet tall with small ears. I do not have problems with raccoons, however, even though I live next to a wild life refuge because I have neighbors with free range golden retrievers who chase the varmints. I also use human hair from my comb and put it in netted bags left over from fruit I buy. I put it on posts and branches sticking out of the soil on the edge of the garden. I don’t know if it is the dogs or the hair but my parents grew wonderful vegetables and they always had a dog house with a dog next to the garden with a giant sunflower growing over the doghouse.

  12. danamccauley says:

    Interesting insight Becky. I tried to keep the squirrels away from my tulip bulbs by wrapping each bulb in my dog’s hair as I put it in the ground. No luck.

    That said, trying the hair trick for the corn next year is worth a shot. Lord knows I have tons of it in my brush every time I blow dry my ‘do.

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